my thoughts..

As a Peace Corps volunteer I think that I am living like a Bulgarian..and oftentimes I am frustrated by my lack of money, like many Bulgarians are..but the truth is..I will never have to face many of the decisions they face on a regular basis. The below is a compilation of many situations I hear from Bulgarians, told in first person.

What if one day I woke up in my block apartment that is owned by my parents, that had been passed down from their parents and so on, and realize I have to go to work again at the factory..which I am not very motivated to do; especially since I haven’t been paid for my last month’s work..and knowing when I do get paid that it is less than 400 лв (~$350) / month. It is disheartening to know that the surrounding countries and other ex-Eastern bloc countries are faring better, and the constituents are receiving a higher level of pay. My husband makes more money working in England picking strawberries than he does working as a chief engineer here in Bulgaria..and he receives his paychecks regularly, whereas if the company I work for does not make enough money, I may not see my next paycheck for the next 3 months..maybe receiving partial checks, until the company is flush again..I start to wonder..should I leave our child with her grandparents and work overseas with him? We can make more money together, and send it back for her to have a better life? But is it a better life for my child to live without her parents, or for her to be able to have a bike, and new clothes, and food on the table.

My mother and father who are retired receive a monthly pension of about 150 лв (~$115) / month..that’s why they continue to keep the village house, (that is falling to pieces, and the roof caving in) with the garden. During the summer I help with the gardening and preserving when I can; but my long hours and sometimes 7 day work weeks keep me from helping as much as I’d like to. But I know if we don’t get these fruits and vegetables preserved for winter time, they won’t have enough food to survive the winter.

During the summer it is difficult to plan a vacation (which I haven’t taken in 7 years), because I am called in on a day-to-day basis at work, and because of the animals I have to take care of before and after work. I feed the chickens, turkeys, pigs, and goats..collect the milk and eggs..start the process to make the yogurt and cheese from the goats milk, and of course cook and do the laundry.

I know there are loans available through the bank, but my parents once had a bank account where they kept their life savings..and then one day they woke up, and the banks said there was no longer any money in the accounts (hyperinflation after the fall of communism). I don’t trust banks. I keep most of my money hidden..the only reason I use the bank is that my work requires I have an account for Direct Deposit..so the first of every month I stand in line with the others to withdraw the money. Even if I did begin to trust the bank again, there is no way that I could possibly get a loan. I have been working this factory job for the last 10 years..but my pay is not consistent enough. I can’t be sure of when my next paycheck will be,so more than likely I would default on the loan. But, my daughter graduates this year, and I know she will be going to University next year. I am so proud of her, but where am I going to come up with this money to put her through university?

But I am proud. I am proud to be a Bulgarian. Our country is small, yes, but to see our beautiful nature..the mountains (Rila, Pirin, Rhodope’s, Stara Planina), the Black Sea, our lengthy history dating back to Thracian times in 681 a.d.; the summer outdoor kitchens and patios with ceilings made by grape vines, used to make our very own wines and spirits. There are natural herbs and fruits that grow in abundance in the wild for use in fresh teas. It was Bulgarian monks who created the first Cyrillic alphabet, which we still use, in part to this day. We have managed to maintain our traditions through 70+ years of communism under the USSR, and 500 years under the Turkish yoke.

New Pics posted under Tricia's newest pics link at the bottom of the page..and listen to the new BG song (upper left) called Kolko mi lipsvash (How much I miss you).